Down by the Cypress Trees

In today’s society, it can often feel like we can never get ahead in life, and that we are always racing to catch up with those around us — especially for my generation (raise your hands, 90s babies).

When you have a chronic illness, mental or physical, those feelings can come at your tenfold. I have spina bifida and hydrocephalus — I was born with it and will have it the rest of my life — along with some other conditions, including bipolar disorder. Some days — hell, even some weeks — make me feel like I cannot seem to get ahead and that I am always facing one setback or another.

This week has been one of those weeks for me. It has rained every day for at least the past four days (including all day today), and when you have hydrocephalus like I do, the weather and pressure changes can leave you feeling achy and lethargic. Yesterday, I got home from work and intended to write this post, but I pretty much laid around in bed all day because I just had no energy to do anything productive.

But during weeks like this one, it is important to remember one thing: even the small steps will get you where you are going. An advisor shared that bit of advice with me last year when I was going through the personal struggles of losing a grandparent and going through a rather difficult breakup.

That is, we have to remember to celebrate the little victories during times when we feel like we cannot win at life. Got out of bed and got dressed today? Pat yourself on the back. Took a shower and brushed your teeth? Hell yeah, even better.

To those who don’t deal with physical or mental health conditions, it can seem silly. Even I — always striving to do the best that I can every day — thought it was kind of ridiculous.

But it really is true — even the smallest step forward is a step in the right direction. The little victories are a reminder that even in our lowest moments when we feel like we are stuck, we are always in motion toward a greater purpose, whether we realize it at the time or not. Especially in our moments of greatest suffering, it is important to treat ourselves with kindness, compassion, and a little bit of grace.

So if all you did was get out of bed today, know that I am proud of you and you should be as well. Keep on moving forward.